Time for sleep

Feeling rather insomniac-ish.

It's 5am. I'm surprised I was able to stay in bed that long. I just keep tossing and turning. It has to be hormones. I'm having a hard time with Hayden right now. His night time sleeping pattern is really frustrating. If he isn't have a night terror, which is almost every night, then he will just scream and arch his back and reach out and hit or pull whichever is closest, which this morning was a chunk of my hair. It's the most obnoxious and foul sounding growl/scream. I feel bad for him. He needs to sleep. Since we started the chamomile before bed, he has been sleeping from the time we put him down, to about 4/5 am, wakes up freaking out, and then usually goes back down within the hour until about 8. That's better than before, but I could definitely do without the sudden outburst that sends me into full panic mode.

I can't stop thinking about telling Andrew's parents. His mom and I have been getting along so well because we have been honest with them and I've opened up a little more. They are going to be so disappointed that we are pregnant again. There is no way I can tell her that we were trying. First of all, she thinks that nobody should have children this close in age. 5 years apart is ideal apparently. Which I don't think is true. Second, she thinks just because we are in debt with student loans and credit cards and still getting back on our feet from Andrew not having a job, that we should have a baby any time soon. I understand that is isn't their choice and they need to just accept whatever we want, but the more we have accepted their help, the more we look like we can't handle life I guess and shouldn't be continuing our family. I wish we would have never had to ask for their help but things got really bad while Andrew was out of work.


I can hear Hayden screaming in the room. If Andrew doesn't get him, I hope he just settles down.


I feel a little blah. I guess its nice to have another symptom besides cramping all day. Makes me feel more optimistic.