Set up!

No baby yet! He's played tricks a few times on me now, and I thought I just wanted it to be over, and have him come, but now that I've been thinking about timing. It wouldn't be ideal anytime soon. I have a photoshoot on the 20th, Hayden is sick right now, and I don't want the baby born into a house full of germs, AND, I really don't want to miss Black Friday shopping with my mom this year. I wouldn't bring a newborn into a crowd of people, so I say, he can come when I get home after being on my feet all day.


Everything is set up. I'm going to take pictures today of the bedroom and diaper stash so far. I just need to wait for the birth pool my mom ordered, but if it doesn't show, I won't be too disappointed. If all else fails, I can have him in my tub. It's very small, but it's better than nothing! The last piece of the birth kit (umbilical scissors) came yesterday. I have a midwife appointment today with the student midwife. I really like her, but she's a bit too 'spiritual' for me at times. She talks to Nixon a lot, and asks him questions, and it get's really quiet.. and she says he answers back... cough.. :) She also mentioned that she thinks Hayden freaks out during prenatals and won't let anyone touch my belly, because he had a bad birth experience and has birth trauma. She told me to talk to him and ask him if he remembers anything. I change the subject quickly when she brings that up, because it makes me really upset and I'm sensitive about that. I'm already sad that I didn't go through with the home birth, and I didn't research enough. So that conversation just makes me feel extremely guilty. Other than that, her and the main midwife are AMAZING. They know so much, agree with me on so much, and make things so comfortable for me.