Im at my mom's right now watching Caelin while her and keith go to a business 'rally.' I can wait, but it will be exciting when Hayden is her age. She's hilarious. A crow just made a noise outside and she said 'I kinda wanna throw this table at that big ol' birdie outside.' Bahaha. Two year olds are great. It would be nice however, if she was potty trained. They are kind of working on it right now, and she keeps taking off her pull up every time she pees. I keep trying to tell her that she needs to leave it on and if she doesn't want to sit in pee, she needs to go pee pee in the toilet. So far, no go. I just put Hayden down for a nap in her crib. I need to not forget the other piece of the baby monitor that I left here. Ours at home broke.
I had a bad anxiety night last night. Andrew and I decided to go out to a town about 20 minutes away for dinner. We got there and I know it was saturday night but it was ridiculous. You can tell we don't have any good restaurants close by because it was packed. They sat us smack dab in the middle of a bunch of full tables and it was really LOUD. Normally, I don't mind noise but I hate when they sit you at a table in the middle of tables that are so close to the back of your chair, that every time someone get's up you have to move. So I ordered an alcoholic drink to calm my nerves a little, and not have to ruin the evening by a full blown panic attack. After a few sips, I ordered my food, and then felt it hit me like a ton of bricks. I could barely hold my head up and I felt like I wanted to throw up. Seeing that throwing up is my phobia, I immediately clammed up and panicked and told andrew he would need to finish it, and get my dinner to go. I ended up breathing with my head between my legs in the car and Andrew and the baby eating by themselves inside. It sucked. We ended up not making a stop at our friends house like originally planned, and we drove home and I talked about my anxiety and exactly how it makes me feel and how I feel bad about it ruining his good time almost every time we go out. I don't want to be a hermit and stay in the house all the time, so I venture out and end up having to leave early all the time. So I can never carpool with someone, or have anyone rely on me for a ride because they get mad at me for leaving somewhere early. I should really go back on my medication. I just didn't like the way it made me feel tired and like a zombie. I guess I would rather be able to go places.
Nothing can be absolutely perfect. There are always cons to something.
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