All day long, Hayden said 'Da Da.' I tried to remind him it was Ma Ma's day, but he had tunnel vision. It was an over all nice day. Nothing was really different except I did some heavy scrubbing and cleaning about an hour ago. It made me feel good and fresh to have things De-cluttered and clean.
Today reminded me, that I can't wait to have more kids. Hayden can be extra monstrous, but I still love him more than the word 'love' has meaning. I couldn't imagine life without him. I don't think being a mom makes things harder right now, it makes them more exciting. One day, I'm going to be sitting in bed after I put all my kids to bed, (just like I am now) and look back at how things were in our little apartment with Andrew having to commute an hour to school twice a week, and myself working part time, struggling to pay the bills, knowing that our hard work would pay off eventually. Life is nice now, but it will be nice years from now, just in a different way. My mom has always told me that if you take shortcuts to get places, the reward won't be as great. You have to work hard for what you want. I HATE hard work. Especially physical labor. But she's right. When I do the hard work, I feel like I accomplished something great. So Andrew and I's relationship needs work. Hard work. It won't get better until it gets worse, and if we both work our ass off, and believe in it, we will be greatly rewarded, and someday, getting along will come easy for us. We just need to get passed the rocky patches.
So far, today, things have gone better for us.
I'm hungry again. And suddenly very tired.
I miss co sleeping.
No comments:
Post a Comment