7 weeks, 1 day

Well, I made it to 7 weeks. Again, I am thankful.

I seem to be battling high blood sugar lately. After a dizzy and shaky spell the other day, my dad tested my blood glucose level and it was higher than his! 166! We didn't believe it at first, so we tried again... 188! So now I have been staying away from sugars and just carbs. Yesterday, my fasting level was 100. It's supposed to be 95 and below. Today, it was 97. Went down a little. I'm trying to pair all of my carbs and sugars with a protein to even things out. I'm working on the Brewer diet as best as I can. My goal is to take one day at a time with controlling my sugars, so I get to have the birth that I want, and not to be induced at 37 weeks like my mom was and have an emaciated looking baby. Poor Caelin. I'm terrified. What if it doesn't go away, and I'm like this afterwards? My dad is diabetic. He can hardly have anything. I would hate to be. I'm so used to sugar. I crave sweets all the time, and I loathe artificial sweeteners. I would be a horrible diabetic.



On another note, I can't sleep worth crap. We have a huge dip on each of our sides. Both were from Andrew before the mattress got flipped and turned. He's a big guy, but seriously, I'm ready to kick him out of the bed so I can have the little hump in the middle of the bed. The only part that is comfortable. It kills my lower back, hips, and shoulders. I thought it would be tough sleeping once I got big in my pregnancy, but this is ridiculous!


Hayden has been sleeping better in his room. Of course, it's in his pack n play because his doorknob broke (thanks to my sister) and he escapes when we let him sleep in his toddler bed. He sleeps from 9:30-7/8am. No more night terrors. Well, not any lately. I'm so glad we've gotten a break from them. It had been like 3 weeks straight of no sleep for either of us.

Andrew is doing well in his new job, but there is a break in the show schedule, so he is off for 2 1/2 weeks. He doesnt get paid as much, but we will still be okay. Come mid may, the pay will get increased and we will be doing really well, and we will be able to pay all of our bills each month. It is kind of nice having him home for this long.

This last week, I was pretty sick. No appetite, and I would get waves of really bad nausea and I even had to leave Red Robin early the day my mom and I went to the beach because the smell of all the food was overwhelming. I now remember why we never went out to dinner when I was pregnant. We always had to leave because of some aversion or bad smell.

It seems to have gotten a little better the last few days, but I still can smell the trashcan from across the house, and everything smells like fish. Every glass I drink out of, when I drink milk, when I eat eggs, they all smell like fish. Not sure why..

All in all, things are pretty good!

Sigh.

Okay, I'm just going to say it because nobody else does.

Being a SAHM is HARD. Harder than I ever ever thought. I'm home all day, everyday, with NO car, and I can't bring him in the backyard. This totally has to change. I can't keep him cooped up in the house all day with no sunshine and no running around and I can't do it either. We have to work something out with the car. I would take Andrew to work, but he works too far away. I need to be able to get out and take him to the park and go have play dates at OTHER people's houses. The same thing everyday is causing me to be depressed, and when Hayden acts out, I get frustrated and yell at him, and I don't want to do that. At least when I worked, and Hayden was in daycare, I would get to come home and I felt like I enjoyed him more. Even the naughty things. How horrible does that sound.. I feel like a bad parent for saying that, but I know it can happen, and I know I'm not the only one. I wish our neighborhood was halfway decent so I could walk around. It's not at al though. I also live right by a very busy street and that's the only way I can get anywhere if I walked. There are about 3 markers with flowers where someone has gotten hit either being a pedestrian or on a bike. Screw that.

Stop spitting Hayden. You're driving me crazy. I will go against all my beliefs and bob you (softly) on the mouth if you don't stop. It's gross, messy, and not attractive.

6 weeks, 1 day

Starting the Brewer diet tomorrow. It's a crap ton of food to take in everyday, but I'm sure I can do it. It's better than being hungry all day and then eating random things. I'll keep track of it on here as well as my other pregnancy stuff. I'm doing it in hopes of not being anywhere near gestational diabetic this time, as well as not having any high blood pressure. The blood pressure thing will be hard for me. I can't keep calm. The littlest thing works me up and my chest gets tight, and I either cry or my pulse starts pounding in my head. I need to get a portable blood pressure cuff. I hope Coley checks that at every appt. I just need to CALM down and stop stressing about everything. It's just not as easy as everyone says. With rent being late, and then Andrew's 1st paycheck not going through because they forgot to sign it, and then having fees taken out of our bank for it, it's just a mess. Seriously, I wish things would settle down in the finance department. I would be able to relax more.

So it looks like my 1st appt. with Coley, my midwife will be on May 10th. It's Andrew's day off, so he will get to meet her.

My eyes and body are tired, but my mind is not. I hope for no insomnia tonight. I should drink some Chamomile.

5 weeks 6 days

Hung out with my mom today. garage sale round two. It didn't go as well as planned, but we got some laughs. It seems like ever time we have a garage sale at her house, someone's car breaks down in front. Haha.

Andrew is being extra irrational and touchy tonight. Maybe he's the one who's really pregnant?

Had my blog stuck on private for awhile and I just figured out what happened.

I'm hoping to get hayden down at a decent time tonight and get a massage from Andrew.

5 weeks, 5 days :/

Okay, so apparently, if I go by my ovulation date, my due date changes to December 6th, and I'm not 6 weeks yet. I'm 5 weeks, 5 days today. Sigh.

I find it totally weird how my best friend became pregnant and just totally ditches me. I have been nothing but supportive while she talked about her charts and her temps while ttc. I could tell she was totally getting discouraged and was upset. When she finally got pregnant I was so excited for her, and that's when I felt it was safe to TTC since I wouldn't hurt her feelings by possible getting pregnant first since I kind of have a track record of getting pregnant pretty fast. I noticed she was blowing me off when I was asking questions about ovulation and such, and when I got pregnant, she signs offline in the middle of conversations, kind of seems like she has a superior attitude, and doesn't really seem like she wants anything to do with me. It's frustrating because we hung out and talked almost everyday before that, and I was really excited to be pregnant together since we have so much in common with cloth diapering, and the business, and knitting, and dyeing yarn. I'm bummed. I hope she comes around soon. :/


On another note, we had a garage sale this morning. Nicole and I. It was freezing, so we bundled up the boys and chased the around the yard. We didn't sell much, which kind of sucks, but I'm going to try again tomorrow at my mom's since she lives on the corner and we have always had great success with garage sales.

Andrew is getting off work late tonight, and is just meeting me here at my mom's house. I have been hanging out here all day, because she has better food than we do. Sad. Haha. My stepdad is camping, so it's nice to not have his douche-box-ness vibe fogging up the house. Hayden and I took a bath in her nice big bath tub and talked about bubbles, and candles, and washing of hair. I pictured giving birth in her tub. I really hope I get to do it and I don't get ruled out for any reason. I pictured lots of candles around, warm water, and a bowl of fruit salad.

6 weeks.

Basically this will be my pregnancy journal. I haven't bought one yet for baby v.2 so for now this will have to do.

I met with the midwife yesterday. She came over for my consultation. I totally love her. She's pregnant too. Due Mid September. I'm really excited to have a home birth. After talking to my mom last night and telling her all about Coley and how my birth will be, she asked if I would like to have it at her house. She's about 10 min away from me, and she has a nice tub, two guest rooms, and she wants to be able to help the whole time and make sure Me, Andrew, & Coley are all being fed meals. She also wants to make it as comfortable as possible for Coley to feed her baby when her husband brings him by if my labor is really really long. Andrew and I think it's a great idea. My mom's house is bigger, and I won't have to worry about cleaning the whole time because of my dad. I will just make sure the house is spotless before I go, and then send someone over to make sure I have a spotless house to come home to.


Today, I am 6 weeks. My left bb is KILLING me. The right one, I feel nothing. I have absolutely NO morning sickness. Usually the afternoon/evening is when I feel kinda bleh if at all. I don't have any cramping anymore. And I have random diarrhea. Pregnancy is totally strange. So far, it's mimicking mine with Hayden besides the lack of bb soreness.

You cannot have it all.

If you choose to have 5 or more kids and be a SAHM, your husband will HAVE to work to support you and your family. Get off his back about not being home on time to help you give your baby a bath.

uterus

Dear uterus,

I can feel you. I'm very aware of your presence today. Maybe it was all the walking today? Please behave. 5 weeks and 4 days today. I think ill be late.. so I'm going to say you have about 37 weeks left to go. Good job so far.



Tonight, I was able to change a poppy diaper and put pants back on all while Hay slept through it. I win.

After tonights intense craving for salsa and a virgin lime margarita, ill be sleeping with a glass of milk and sitting propped up. Major acid/heartburn coming my way.

We had a pretty great weekend. Easter

We had a pretty great weekend.
Toddler egg hunt on Saturday,Nicole, Justin, & Cale, Katie & Cody, Ashton & Trent, and Lauren, Edwin, and Lennon came. My mom and I had a punch bowl of watered down Apple juice, organic animal cookies, Orange slices, pb&j sandwiches and chips and guacamole for the kids. Sandwiches and mimosas for everyone that wasn't pregnant, (which was everyone but me) bubbles, coloring, playdough and of course the egg hunt. I filled the eggs with cheerios, fruit snacks, animal cookies, stickers, and temporary tattoos. The kids seemed to love it and I got tons of cute pics. My moms backyard is perfect for stuff like that. She has a swing, a sand box, a few ride on toys and a nice big lawn.

Then we went to Andrews parents house so Hayden would be able to open his basket from them. I just wanted to tell them about being pregnant and get it over with because its stressing me out that someone from my family will say something on Facebook. We couldn't do it though. It seems like she always brings something up about us waiting 5 years for another baby. We don't want to wait that long. its not her choice. So that night, we came home and I wrote her a really nice email and told her basically that we are happy, we want everyone else to be happy, we don't want anyone to be disappointed or upset. This is supposed to be something happy. I don't want it to be negative like how they treated my pregnancy with Hayden. She hasn't written back but I know she has read it. we haven't gotten a call, and I'm not sure why she needs time, but apparently she does. I just don't need the stress so if she's going to be horrible, she can keep it to herself.

Meanwhile, I'm up at 2:30 am because my stomach is all screwed up. I'm hoping it was something we ate. Hayden and I both had pizza before bed. Mine is all lower intestinal and very painful and annoying, and Hayden threw up all over his pack in play when we first put him down. I want it to go away because I'm tired and this is the first night I don't feel like I have insomnia.

I am so incredibly tired. Every day from like 10am to 1, I can hardly function. This really sucks with a toddler who just wants to go go go. I might have to hire my sister to let me take a nap today. Is that cheating though?? I'm hoping this is just the first trimester.